It's My Birthday!

Well it’s my birthday.

Seems to come around once a year.

A good time to contemplate the past - for a hot second - look to the future - with hope - but most of all to live in the present.

I’ve struggled with birthdays on and off again during my life span thus far.

Yesterday I was meditating and asking Spirit WHY?

I love how things are revealed to me - so gently and clearly.

I’ve struggled in the past - not because of age - but because of protecting myself from disappointment.

Birthday weren’t that big a deal in my family. I can’t actually remember having a big birthday party.

I have to put in a caveat here - about 7 years ago I found out I don’t have very many childhood memories because I spent so much of it in survival mode - and memories just don’t form properly. I blame no one. It’s just a fact that really brought freedom to me - and still does.

I was the third child of five - and the second daughter - so not first in anyway. I don’t remember feeling celebrated. So I think I put up a protective “It doesn’t matter - don’t make a fuss” attitude over this day.

But God gave me Terrence. And he has always celebrated me - whether I’ve received it or not. (He’s a saint)

So this year I’m soaking it all in.

The texts.

The messages.

The Facebook posts.

The gifts.

I am determined to live in this fleeting moment and appreciate it (and my existence) so I gave myself a life verse from my psalm - Psalms 19:14

This is my focus going forward.

So thanks to all who have reached out.

And thanks to my parents for birthing me and keeping me alive.

And thanks to my hubby and children for always wanting to party. I’m glad to be here and hope for many more birthdays.